Instead we are all in our lounging outfits, all cosy under a pile of blankets and watching Tinkerbell for the 337th time.
I know that right now this living room scene is probably what everyone imagines when they think of a stay at home parent (and especially stay at home mamas) but what you don't see is that underneath this peaceful, idyllic, lazy relaxing scene I am pacing out in a thousand different directions in my head. My mind goes to the fact I am three days late in work, I am self employed in a field that is terribly underpaid, I work way below the minimum wage but bills and rent need to be paid. This means I am constantly calculating our budget knowing we can't afford surprises, it means that my husband works a demanding job for very little pay, full time but that barely covers half of our living costs and I have to work till 2 or 3 AM every night. Last night baby was unwell so I only got 3 hours of sleep. Life is hard, but it could be worse, we manage to keep our daughters fed, clothed and happy. They are not missing anything and don't realise how stressed or overworked their parents are, which is something I appreciate because I know so many parents would give anything to preserve the innocence and peacefulness of their kids' childhood.
So I try to take a deep breath in, making mental lists of all the work I need to catch on while trying to comfort myself that though while life is far from what we had planned at least our toddler is laughing watching her movie next to me and the one baby we still have has finally drifted to sleep while nursing in my arms. Sometimes peace can be found in accepting the beauty of the moment and temporarily forgetting the overwhelming reality.
